How About More....Ripped From The Headlines...

Here's even more funny items ripped from the headlines...

MORE Ripped From The Headlines...

More funny items....ripped from the headlines...

EVEN MORE Ripped From The Headlines!

Headlines, etc which actually appeared in newspapers!

Ripped From The Headlines!

Actual articles, etc which have occurred in newspapers....

Personal hygiene...upon request???

Wife Wanted...

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."

The Magic Elevator...

A boy and his father from Antarctica were visiting a mall in the United States. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."

Worst "first pitch" EVER? You Decide!

Canadian born singer Carly Rae Jepsen had a HUGE hit with "Call Me Maybe" but maybe she should have called someone herself to get some pointers on throwing out the first pitch at a major league baseball game!

She recently was bestowed the honor of throwing out the first pitch at a Tampa Bay Rays game and it was an epic fail. The good news? It was a Tampa Bay Rays game, so nobody saw it!